If there's one thing I've learned in my travels, it's that old ladies who are wimps and bendy need a good spanking. If there's one thing that will turn an old granny into a hot little head turner, it's a paddle in the behind. One way to get your granny's attention when she's asleep (without waking her up to scream) is to tell her that her days as a child were short because she was such a hootchie. Then tell her that she's going to have to put up with being woken up every single night by her child, and that she better start living the life that her great-grandmother used to when she was young..