What are a cougar, exactly, and how long does a cougar stay married? It depends on the woman. If she's a young wife and a virgin, she doesn't want to settle down with a married man, and that means that she's got plenty of time to find out if he's worth settling for. If she's a mature young wife and has had sex with several married men already, then she probably hasn't settled down yet (even though she might still like to), and her main goal is to see if she wants children or not..