My adopted daughter, African American, was raised as a spoiled brat by her mother and stepmother (both are now deceased). She was subjected to relentless emotional and physical punishment at every turn as well as physical violence from her own father. She was terrorized by the fear of "what if my father says one thing during a visit or at the school dance, what will happen?" When she finally escaped her abusive home, she was so upset that her first thought was "she doesn't know what she looks like without me, she doesn't know who I am.".